Growth Emerging from Pain

Author: Donna-Marie Rowe

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It was a defining week.  The events were emotional, senseless, challenging yet there was growth. 

There was outrage on display about the senseless killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States.  I knew that the situation was in need of leadership at the highest level.  Can’t they see that there needs to be serious systemic changes through legislation? 

Back home, there was the heartbreaking story of an 87 year old man, Noel Chambers, beloved by his family, who was locked away in prison without a trial for more than 40 years.  He died without justice being served, even after numerous attempts by his devout sister to write and beseech authorities. Change needed.

In my world, there was the push back from my adolescents who think they know it all and can do ‘life’ by themselves.   Oh yes!  They were pushing back against the strategies I was employing for them to get more restful sleep and rising at a set time. 

And so, no sooner had I urged my newly minted 15 year old son with a “Don’t give up” message, than I was now drowning in discouragement.  There is just something about having expectations and not seeing them come true fast enough.  I had to take a pause and gather the loins of my mind.  No one said a seed would grow into a fruit bearing tree overnight. It is a process.

The week began with everyone outside of their comfort zones.  But that is where the growth is isn’t it?

And thankfully, by week’s end, we are at a point in our conversations globally, nationally and personally where we have moved forward with hope and victory…well…victory for me and my young ‘uns.

Growth and victory steps:

  1. Stick to your responsibility because of love.

Evaluate your commitment to your responsibility, no matter what it is.  You cannot afford to shirk now.  If you do, it will unravel into a royal mess.  Once you are breathing, hold the reins.  (Thanks Mom)

  1. Forgive and be compassionate to yourself

This is a powerful decision.  Forgive others and yourself.  Acknowledge any mess you have made through your speech, actions resulting from anger, disappointment, fear and uncertainty.  Ask for forgiveness with sincerity because this will free you.  Don’t blame anyone.  Simply ask the person you have wronged to forgive you.  Then, forgive yourself and determine to use this experience to climb to a higher level on your personal development journey.

  1. Release guilt and walk free. 

The pain of our journey sometimes brings guilt and shame.  However, once you experience this, pause, remember you repented and forgive yourself.  Assess the situation through the eyes of God’s love and faith.  Encourage yourself with His words.  Let it go and walk in victory knowing that by God’s help everything is going to be alright.  Now get back in the game and keep moving in your new found freedom.  Another battle down!

Won’t you lead yourself to victory…through the pain of discouragement…today?


Published by dmarierowe

A student of leadership, my passion for personal, spiritual and professional growth is a constant companion. The leadership lights I share are from my more than two decades of earnest and deliberate study of leadership principles taken from Biblical scripture, characters and circumstances. Life lessons from my desire to progressively offer transformational leadership are also captured throughout. It is my hope that you will be inspired and helped on your leadership journey by the hot beacons that are lighting your way. Sail on with confidence!

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